Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Monday, March 13, 2006
Thursday, March 9, 2006
Well we will hit the road tomorrow after work. Heading home to Georgia, we're all having my little sister Dena a little birthday party. It will be great to get home and see everyone, I'm really looking forward to it. I should come back with lots of pictures as always.
In one year, What would you most like to see changed or improved about yourself? This is a hard one, let me go to my next tag and come back to this one.
I have been thinking on this one. Especially since I know Mike will be reading this. I think of how much energy I've spent trying to get what I want from him. It's really got me thinking- how much of my thinking time is spent on what to say to him to be the way I want him to be?
Many of us spend a lot of time thinking about how to get what we want from our partner - how to get our partner to open up, be more caring, see us, love us, pay attention to us, spend time with us, have sex with us, and so on. We spend at lot of energy trying to get what we want from our partner because we believe that if only we do it right - behave right or say the right thing - we can have control over getting our partner to change. This illusion of having control over getting another to change keeps us stuck in behavior that not only does not work to get us what we want, but drains us of the energy we could be using to learn to take loving care of ourselves.
It has been very hard for me to accept that I can't "get" others to do what I want them to do, even if it would be good for them and for the relationship. So I'm going to take my eyes off of Mike and focus them on me. "What do I need to do for my own well-being if Mike doesn't change? Derek is going to try and quit nagging and trying to control. So in answering the question, I make no changes to him. Now going back to Woe's question, in answering his, I can change or improve by figuring out ways I need to be more loving, caring, understanding and attentive to myself and my own feelings.
True to me, and let him be true to himself. Will it be easy! We'll see! Here he is in front of the stargate, he loves this show.
Wednesday, March 8, 2006
Last night we had our service, the weekly service till Easter. We spoke about exile. We all told examples of exile in our lives. Listening to everyone's examples, made me think how everyone's life is hard, and much harder for some than others. Also just because we are Christians doesn't make it any easier. Sometimes I've even felt in exile just by what it means to me being a Christian and what it may mean by others. I know it's definatley not any easier for us because of it. I think of my own weaknessses and wounds, and wonder if they will be healed in my lifetime. I sure hope so. I think about what is in store for me, at times it puts a smile on my face, and at times it puts fear in my heart. Mainly I try to have hope in my life, because I find a inner strength with that. I may have a bad day, but I have learned that one day we may have a completely diffrent day.
I can deal with any hurts from the past because I have hope for the future. The best lies ahead. My way back Wednesday will consist of pictures not to way back, but in the last 30 years. They are of my sister who is 32 today.Happy Birthday Little Sister
Year after year, I search for a way to tell you how I feel about you and everytime I wonder if it hasn't all been said before. But this year is extra special because it contains all the laughter that we all have shared through photos. This is to remind you of how unique our family is and to tell you that you could never, ever be replaced in our life. It is to let you know how much we appreciate you. It's a thank-you for every time you have shared a worry or tear, prayed for us,
every time you have listened and been the only one who understood,
and we left with a smile. It's to tell you that you being my sister is one of the most important in my life and that you are not only my sister, but a sweet and dear friend. We all love you, Dena, and hope your birthday will be the beginningof a year of happiness and joy and faith.
I think about all the changes in life. Time has a way of changing things. But one constant with my sister Dena is the joy she brings in our lives.
Sunday, March 5, 2006
gaze into the distance with thoughts
drifting through my mind.
I dream, I contemplate: and then
amidst my meditations, I focus upon
The wind blowing first violently,
then subsiding to a gentle breeze,
blows the limbs and leaves.
My thoughts cease to ramble as my
attention turns and I consider
How great and strong, how majestic
stand His mountains. How proud they seem
towering over all, closest to God,
trees blowing in the breeze.
The wind, blowing fiercely now, bend
the trees against their will. And, as
they bend, they remind me of an elderly
person stooped by years of age.
A storm has come and the winds beat the trees
on the mountaintop, frenzied movements and I see
a giant dragon in the window of my mind. He stands ready to
devour, all who come within the reach of
his mighty, snappingjaws, coming from the mountain in the storm.
The storm subsides, the wind blows gentle
breaths and His mountain become gentle ballerinas
dancing gracefully to and fro. But no! I look again
and it is a giant nose stretching to the stars.
Finally the wind dies completely and
His mountain stands, green and magnificent.
I see a vivid painting against a cloudy sky.
My thoughts turn inward once again, and I
marvel at the beauty and perfection of His
mountains that stand within a world filled with so much
turmoil and hate.
How wonderful! How marvelous! Amazing that
He could speak to me of His greatness and
His love, and in His speaking bring to my heart
a quiet peace through the beauty and magic of
Sitting on the riverbanks looking about,
I see things in a different light.
It is better to wait and discern the truth,
than to jump to conclusions
and forever be a fool.
Let me step back and listen
as the river waters flow
upon emotions of web-like hatred
that entangles the least suspecting of all.
Remaining silent is sometimes the light,
for it is useless to argue and not know the truth.
The truth is sometimes overlooked
when dissension set into warp the mind of a loser.
But it sure is a pain in the neck holding it in.