Saturday, December 31, 2005


I lay in the bed last night reflecting on the past year. I thought of all the times, the tender times of the heart, I thought of a peaceful mind, which I so long for. Both have something to do with quality, the quality of feeling and reasoning.

Here it is the last day of what has been a trying, sometimes beautiful, sometimes uneasy, joyful, and painful year for me. I look forward to dawn tomorrow and, as the days get longer, to begin to feel my way into newness. It is not strange though it is mysterious that our "New Year" comes at the darkest time in the seasonal cycle. When there is personal darkness, when there is pain to be overcome, when we are forced to renew ourselves against all the odds, the psychic energy required simply to survive has tremoundouse force. I did some self portraits today, I put myself in darkness although, I feel the light coming at sunrise as great as that of a flower pushing up throuch icy ground in spring, so after the overcoming, there is extra enerygy, a flood of energy that can go into creation. This morning I woke up feeling it, knowing it, trusting it.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Class on teamwork

Well what a wonderful blessed Christmas our family had. It was so nice to be home with those I love so much. But now I'm back to the grindstone of work, and getting ready for the new year. We had a class today on teamwork. In the class they quoted some sports guy forgot who it is, I'm not the best with sports like my brother Lance. Anyway it was "What counts most in the creation of a succesful team is not how compatible its players are, but how they deal with incompatibility." When we don't get along with other, we are tempted to ignore them and shove them aside. This hit big with me, I thought of my past relationships and present as well. I've been guilty of this one for sure. Seems many of my relationships fall into this category. I'm not saying I was always the one to start ignoring, there were times I was the one that was ignored as well. I've been thinking on this one a bit today.
Althougth this hit big with me I also feel we are called to take a diffrent road. I've read somewhere in the bible "Be of one mind, and have compassion for each other; love as brothers, be tenderhearted, be courteous, not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this. I started by remembering, but had to look it up, it's 1 Peter 3:8-9.
Walk in light, I have many feelings on this, and may write more on this later but for the moment I'm at work and really better get back to work. I feel I'm in the writing mood today. Or maybe just a thinking mood. I just hope I can capture what I'm feeling and it doesn't go away. :)

Monday, December 26, 2005

Cleaning up and bad back

Well I spent most of the day picking up, washing clothes, grocery shopping, and hurting.  I made the mistake of bending over the wrong way, and my back has been hurting pretty bad.  But I trust it will be better tomorrow.  I'm cooking some homemade chicken noodle soup which I've been craving with this cold weather.  Mike wrote me the sweetest handmade card for Christmas and gave it too me yesterday.  He even wrote me a poem which I really loved.  I'm looking forward to a new year with him.  I want to sit down and for us to make goals for the new year and things we want for us.  I hope everyone has a wonderful New Year, and a prosperous blessed year.  I want to make some resolutions, but decided I just break them, so I'm just going to make goals for the New Year. 

Christmas Day

Autumn woke us all up early, and Santa came, he didn't come see me, but he sure came to see Autumn, she must have been really good.  We all got ready pretty fast for church and enjoyed a very nice Christmas service.  These two guys sang a great rendition of "The Little Drummer Boy".  We came home, Mama and Ray, Dena and Andy, and Sherry all had prepared another Christmas feast, chicken and dumplings were my favorite.  Mama's chicken and dumplings.  The day just seemed to fly by, as always I'm just starting to feel the most relaxed.  We all unwrapped presents, I made videos for everyone of the kids, and Sherry's wedding, and it was awesome watching their faces as they watched.  Especially the kids, they kept wanting to watch their video over and over.  Then they fought for the camera afterwards, well not fought, but they kept jumping in front of each other wanting their picture taken.  I think I've created camera hogs now.  Andy looked at Eli and said you want him to make another Eli video don't you.  Eli smiled big and said yes.  Somehow I didn't get to say goodbye to Autumn, because while I was taking pictures of the boys, her mom came and got her.  They said she cried because she didn't get to tell me goodbye.  I sure love that little girl.  I love them all.  I left late and was so tired driving home.  I thought of good memories made on the way home, and of the biggest birthday celebration.  The celebration of Jesus' birth.

Christmas Eve at Daddy and Jane's

Well we finally made it to Daddy's by 3:00 p.m. with big appetites.  There was so much wonderful food.  Everyone ate well.  Lance brought Amy and her two boys so we had extra kids.  Eli really enjoyed riding everyone around in his gator tractor.  Why didn't they invent stuff like that when I was little.  Imagine learning to drive when your only 3.  And Eli can really drive good, he even parks it behind his Papa's big gator lawnmower.  It's really awesome seeing our new generation growing so fast.  They really are amazing to watch.  I think I spend more time with the children when I go home, just trying to soak up every minute I can.  There was the most beautiful sunset toward the end of the day that I've seen at home in a long time.  I was lucky to grab a few pictures.  We went back to Sherry's and wound down, my back was hurting a bit by late evening and Sherry gave me a Vicadin, which put me out. I got Autumn to sleep so Santa would come see her.  I finally got her to sleep, she was so excited and kept thinking she heard reindeer on the roof, and had many questions.  I got up and put together one of the big Christmas planets with planets and stars that shine in the room of all colors and had to go back to bed, that vicadin kicked my butt.  In the wee hours around 3:30 I was having bad dreams, and couldn't wake up from them, so I convinced myself if I could make myself scream I would wake up.  But everytime I tried nothing came out.  The next morning everyone informed me that I was screming really loud in my sleep around 3:30, along with talking to myself for about 5 minutes.  Thank goodness I didn't wake Autumn up, she sleeps like a log.

Gee my hair taste terriffic

Picture from Hometown



Christmas Eve, Sherry and I woke up pretty early I had some last minute shopping to do.  She went with me and we got it all knocked out, came home, and we started getting ready to go out to Daddy and Jane's.  It started off pretty easy but got a bit frustrating after a while.  Sherry called Jane and told her we may be a few minutes later than we had expected to give us some extra time.  Autumn had got a cute little green warm up suit that Santa actually brought a day early, and she was running around with it on.  I joked her calling her diffrent green names, like junebug, and green bean, and stink bug.  She didn't like that one.  Sherry had cooked some good ole greenbeans, and luckily they had cooled down, because when we started getting ready,  Autumn climbed up on the bar and decided she was going to stir the peas, and eat a few as well.  Well I was in the bedroom getting dressed and so was Sherry, when we hear this kaboom, followed by a minute of silence, then a cry coming down the hallway.  She walks down the hall with greenbeans all in her hair and her little new suit.  And tears, not because she was hurt but because she thought ReRe was going to be mad at her.  Which worked because although we did hear a few words come from ReRe's mouth, followed by Autumn saying you owe me $5 for that word that came out of her mouth.  Then Mark noticed she had her hair in her mouth and was sucking it.  He said get that hair out of your mouth.  She followed with it sure does taste good, just like green beans.  I should of took a picture, but we were all too worried she was hurt, we were just glad it wasn't hot, and burned her.

Christmas Eve

Picture from Hometown


Well I left shortly after I woke up on Christmas Eve to go over to Daddy and Jane's we were having Christmas Eve over there.  I decided to go over to Andy and Dena's to see the boys.  Eli was riding around on his new Gator Tractor, and Ethan was playing with their new puppy Star.  Ethan who is as big if not bigger than his three year old brother.  Ethan is only one.  Ethan jumps in the drivers seat every time Eli gets out.  I took some cute ones of them.   We loaded up the little tractor with corn and carrots that Dena cooked and all the presents and walked with the boys up to Daddy's house.   When Ethan was getting in, Eli got a lead foot and drove right over his brother.  Ethan wasn't hurt, the tractor is very light plastic.  But it scared poor Eli, well it scared both of them actually, but Ethan quit crying before Eli did.  So I guess this counts as their first accident.  But not the first accident of Christmas Eve.  More later.

First day home Friday

I headed home to Georgia on Friday, it was hard leaving Mike that morning, I wanted him to come to Georgia with me so bad.  The ride home was pretty easy, not many people on the road which surprised me, guess I left early enough.   I stopped and saw my brother Lance at work, and had lunch with him.  Stopped at Dena's but she was having her much needed me time, because the boys were napping, she answered the door in her Shirly Temple curls and looked so cute, she was curling it for Christmas with Andy's family that night.   I decided to let her enjoy her me time with the boys asleep, and told her I'd see her later.  I  made it home, and was greeted by Sherry and Autumn and Mark.  It really got pretty cold the first day, we all got our coats on and played a lot, I'm not sure what it was but I was so tired.  I went to take a nap, and Autumn came in and took one with me.  We got up and was feeling much better.   Sherry had all kinds of little goodies for us, pizza that Mark made, dips and chips, and barb-q.    Cousin Christy came over with little Taylor and the girls played and had fun.  Amanda came over and brought Autumn's Chritmas present a little puppy named Mary, she's the cutest little cocker spaniel.   The puppy even brought back memories from mama's childhood.  She was happy to see Autumn with a little puppy like she had when she was a little girl.  We all had a nice day, Lance brought us a funny movie that I think I enjoyed watching his reactions as much as the movie.  Lance is quite funny and wonderful to watch when he laughing.  I made it to bed by 1:00 and slept really good.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

I'm back home from home

I'm back home from Georgia.  I had a wonderful time and it was so good being with my beautiful family.   I'm pooped tonight and ready to hit the sack, but thought I'd put just a few pics on tonight, much more to come.  Mike and I had our Christmas tonight as well.  I missed him and am ready for some snuggle time.  More tomorrow.

Friday, December 23, 2005

Everyone Have a Merry Christmas

Well I'm up and packed and ready for my little road trip to Georgia to see the family.  The only thing not packed is Michael, because he has to work tomorrow and Monday.   It sure is going to be weird with him not with me for Christmas day.  I'm excited about heading home to see everyone.  Can't wait to spend some time with everyone.  I'll be heading back to Jacksonville on Christmas day late in the day.  I'm hope everyone has a beautiful Christmas!  Celebrate the baby!



Sunday, December 18, 2005

Christmas Tonic and Caroling

Church was good today, Linda's sermon was on Christmas tonic's.  I was talking to my mom the other day on how we were getting older and how we lose some of our childhood feeling on Christmas and other things.  It would be nice if we could keep some of that childhood wonder in our lives.  The childhood enchantment.  Tonight we went over to Barry and Susan's and did some caroling, it was fun with the illuminaries and all the Christmas spirit going on around us.  Barry and Susan are both so nice, and we really like them a lot.  They were the first two to come up and welcome Mike and I when we first came to the UCC church.  They are people that just give you that good feeling when your around them.  We even had two Santa's, Mike and Alvin.  We went out for a little while afterwards, and am back home.  I'm finally well, and Mike is feeling much better as well.   Big week ahead, hope everyone has a joyous blessed Christmas.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Quick entry before bed

Boy has this cold whipped my butt, I'm about to hit the sack early, hoping I will feel better tomorrow.  I've been working with it only because I ran out of sick days at work.  Mike and I got a card today from Valerie and Rochelle with a picture of us with little Aaron Michael, he's the cutest little boy.  Don't babies give you a new feel for life.  Well off to bed.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Early Merry Christmas

This would have made a good Christmas card!  Hope everyone is getting all there last minute Christmas shopping done!  I've got to do some this weekend.  Sherry wrote a sweet note in my blog tonight, she's such a sweet sister.  I hope we all have a blessed Christmas this year.

Sunday, December 11, 2005

Happy Birthday to Me

We went to our third Christmas party last night, Mike went with Mike and I.  Dan and Brent had the house nicely decorated.  I got in the spirits so to speak, since my birthday hit towards the end of the party and we decided to celebrate my birthday early.  I had a nice time.  We went out afterwards, but the whole night was a bit of a blur.  Today I spent most of the day in bed, we did go have breakfast at Cool Moose, and Mike and Mike made me lunch.  We've mostly veged and watched movies. 

Monday, December 5, 2005

Jumbled thoughts

It is strange how difficult it is to go backward in a jounal to the immediate past.  Where has the year gone?  Suddenly I am desparate for time, while energy flows out in the starting of cold weather.   At times I feel bursts of energy, and at other times I wouldn't mind staying in bed for long periods of time.  I was thinking about our pastor Linda today, she was online earlier and I said hello to her.  When I consider a life like hers, so given and driven and how she is, nevertheless, an ever-flowering, responsive, caring person.  I feel a kind of awe.  My mind still wanders, it goes backward and forward of this past year.  I feel like I was supposed to do more.  But all I can do is what I've done.    Am I confusing today or what.   I need to get back writing more.  I see how my thoughts are jumbled.  Here's some pictures I took this weekend.

Saturday, December 3, 2005

I've been going through picture after picture trying to find my favorite one I took of Sherry at her wedding, I think this one is my favorite.  Her eyes seem to sparkle.  I can't believe it's been seven months already since she and Mark married.  It's actually the last getaway that Mike and I have had, I wonder if we'll ever really get to have a little vacation, we sure need one.  My back's been bothering me a good bit today, I've got a photo shoot tomorrow after church, hope it's feeling better.  I gave little Abby a bath today, wanted to clean the house, but after cleaning the bathroom, realized I better take it easy, or I won't be able to go to the Julie and Thersa's party tonight, going to go hit the showers.  Later.

Thursday, December 1, 2005

Thursday Thoughts

Yesterday Mike was telling me about getting a verbal warning at work.  Basically I think they told him to slow down.  So he says he's slowed down and made a check list, to make sure everything get's done.  Things sure can get busy, especially in the holiday season.  Guess we could all use a check list this time of year, and maybe all the time if we are the kind that have a lot to do.  Sometimes I think about when I get upset or angry, if I had followed a checklist, maybe I would have got done something that I was upset wasn't done.  I think number one on my check list would be to stop, consider what I'm about to say before I say it, I think that would probably help a lot.  There's a lot of things I could put on the checklist that I havn't been getting around to lately.  Meditating, praying, exercising, yep, I've been getting lazy.  Not sure what it is about this time of year, but every years my back seems to start hurting the worst, my belly starts getting the biggest.  Then January rolls around and I start running again and getting ready for the Gate River Run, everything seems new and I start getting things in order.  Wonder if I could do that for the whole year before I get lazy near December.  The verse in the bible comes to mind.  "Love suffers long and is kind."  I can't believe it's December first already, man this year has flown.  I'm ready for a real vacation.  Somewhere exotic, or out west, or just out of town.  Disney World?  I don't know but I'm ready for one, even if I just have to take 4 or 5 days and relax. I havn't been writing as much lately it seems, not sure why.  Can't seem to get all my thoughts collected.  Been feeling more scatterbrained than usual.  :)  Well hope everyone out there is having a great week!