My adventure

Tonight I walked down to the beach and looked at the beautiful moon.  Just let myself unwind and be thankful for all my many blessings.  This week has flown by can't believe it's already almost Friday, and I'm happy about that too.  I've been putting a lot of questions out there it seems lately.  Trying to figure out life.  I guess life is not a problem to be solved, it's just an advenure to be lived.  I love my adventure!

Three of Faith

O.k. I've been praying for deliverence from all my problems, most of them self inflicted, and most of them being financial. I wrote about my Sunday school teacher of almost 30 something years ago. After I wrote her name I started thinking about her and her Sunday School classes. The old country church I went to was small, and for my age group there weren't any other kids my age. So I was the only one in Mrs. Martin's class. Mrs Martin was a classy lady with bright red hair like my Nana. She was soft spoken and if you got to loud she would say "you don't run or get loud in God's house". I was crazy about her and looked forward to each one of my classes with her. We started with a prayer, then she would have our lessons, usually she would bring in a pictures from the bible, those old famous paintings, and she would tell me the story. Then I would draw after that, and end with snacktime. One of the pictures I still remember after all these years and thinking about my old Sunday School classes was of three young men standing in fire with angels behind them. The three young men were Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, not sure if that's spelled correct. As a child of 5 or 6 this picture scared me but the story I liked, and I'm sure I had plenty of questions for Mrs. Martin after she told it. Anyway this story now reminds me of much that I'm going through. In the lesson if I remember it correctly it was "to love God in spite of our circumstances." Loving God is easy when He grants our requests and provides what we desire. Loving Him in difficult times tests our faith. Those three men made a life and death decision, to worship the golden image, they could live, if they refused, death. These men were full of faith. Is God able to deliver us from all our problems? Yes I think so, Does God always deliver us from our difficulties? No. I guess we may not fully comprehend His purpose in our difficult times, but we must contiue loving HIM. We must trust HIM and hope in HIM in spite of the trials that seem to be overwhelming us at times. I remember when I was a little boy when I said my prayers at night, I would ask for faith. Not sure when I stopped praying that prayer, but I think I need to start again.

Back to Narnia

Have you ever re-read a classic book from your childhood? Last night I revisited one of my favorites, one filled with with fantasy, of a family of two brothers and two sisters, just like my family. I think I got more out of it now as an adult than I did a child. C.S. Lewis's "Chronicles of Narnia" is the book I'm talking about. What comes to mind for me after reading this again is the ability to tell between good and evil. We do this by the things we focus our spiritual eyes on. If we set our eyes on money, for example, we may have the good life for a while, but our judgement will become clouded. We'll make choices that defy our own values-choices that may devastate our families and destroy us in the end. What am I saying? I guess don't love money. Back to the book, Edmund's lust for sweets leads him to betray his beloved brother and sisters. Eustace's desire for the dragons gold eventually turns him into a dragon. Greed overcomes Prince Caspian on Deathwater Island as he dreams of the power its magic water bring him.

Food, money, power-whereever we focus our spiritual eyes determines what we desire, and whether our lives are filled with light or filled with darkness. "The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light" I remember Mrs. Martin in Sunday School quoting this. I quote everyone in my journal, thought it was time I quote some JESUS!

SHE LOVES ME THE MOST

My mom jokes me about writing a book on our family all the time.  Well one day I just might.  Today is my mom's birthday.  Happy birthday mom.  I read somwhere about an interview with a mother it went something like. "Do you think all children deserve the full, impartial love and attention of a mother?"  "Of course", said the mother.   "Well which of the children do you love the most?" he asked hoping to catch her in a contradiction.  She answered, "The one who is sick until he gets well, and the one who is away until he gets home.".  I thought this was cute.  My mom would always and still does write us little notes and letter, and at the bottom, she would always write,  I love you the best!  It always made us feel special.  It was also kind of fun, especially when we would happen across a letter she had written to my sister,and I would open it up and there at the bottom,  I love you the best.  She loves us all, kind of like God's love for all of us.  "God loves every one of us as if there were but one of us to love." St. Augustine  Mama thanks for all the prayers you've whispered during the worst moments of our lives, and the many hopes for our success in all that we dreamed of.  Thanks for the kind wishes that would make us happy and fullfilled and the gentle words of encouragement that were meant for strenthening us.  Thanks for your acceptance, your ability to understand and your friendship that always gave us security.  Thanks for your wisdom of all the lessons you taught us, and the meaning behind "unconditional love".  Thanks Mama for everything you've done, your the best mom in the world.  I love you the best.  Happy Birthday!

 

Derek

Ms. Bette

My friend Ms. Bette came over tonight.  It was so good to see her.  She is such a good woman.  I sure have missed her.  Surprise visits are always the best.  I'm very lucky to have the friends I have in my life.  I sure feel blessed.  Nice having angels in my presence.  She came over when I was writing about my quiet times.  So I finished up after she left.  After she left I've been thinking more.  I read what I wrote and it sounded like I'm trying to make myself more disciplined, but I don't want that to be the point.  Like I said earlier it's the connection.  I can't imagine my life without this source of ecstasy and happiness.  I think I would be in real danger without it.  This journal has become a place I can bare my soul at times.  It has been so good for me.  I've talked about this journey and battle.  Everyone's messages and emails have been so helpful almost like I'm not in this battle alone.  At times I think I was headed for isolation but now I know I'm not. 

Quiet time

I've been asking myself tonight what brings me back to my heart.  I think we have a two dimensional version of this which we call our "quiet times".  I find it hard at times to find my quiet times.  Sometimes it's about as hard to find my quiet times as it is to floss my teeth.  I need to do that too.  But when I do find my quiet times, I realize the greater picture.  I need my quiet times for survival.    I think at times I give a halfhearted attempt at the spiritual disciplines when the only reason we have is that we "ought to".  But I'm becoming more and more convinced I have to have it.  Time each day with God isn't about academic study or getting through a certain amount of scripture or any of that.  It's more about a connection for me.  Maybe it's His heart I'm trying to get back too.

 

What brings you back to your heart and the heart of God?

Winds are Strong

The winds are strong.  I just walked down to the beach.  They blew the imposter right away, and left me with  ME!