Monday, August 16, 2004

Quote from Hawthorne

"No man, for any considerable period of time, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the truth."

----Nathanial Hawthorne

 

Do you ever confuse the truth about yourself with a facade?  I keep telling myself I have what it takes.  I  want a deeper knowing though, there is knowledge about and knowledge of, when it comes to the two I think it is the latter we need more of.  Sound to me I'm still trying hard to find the real me.  I know I'm here.  I was thinking the other day, how close to the real me is this journal, I think if some people who read my journal that really know me, may be surprised I have all this in me, I've got diffrent sides to me.  Usually I'm a pretty quiet person, but there is always something going through this big taterhead of mine.  Mostly I'm thinking of who I am, and where do I go with this question, well I write in my journal, I pray.  I know my true name can never be taken away fom me.  There is something very deep in my heart.  I know where I've come from, I like to say I know where I'm going, but that's not all together true.   I'm still being tested every day, I'm not that crazy about tests either.  I know I have to face my Enemy.  Wow where is this coming from, kind of scares me again.  Am I still becoming a man?

 

7 comments:

barbpinion said...

this is such a wonderful entry, Derek. There is so much food for thought here. We humans are actors on the stage of life, always adapting ourselves to the person or situation we're facing. You're growing every day: physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.  Getting to know oneself requires much more than people realize. One way to acquaint yourself with the man you are is to observe the way people treat you. Sound odd? Not if you think about it. How others react around us tells a great deal about the way people percieve us. Do we make them feel safe? Intimidated? Shy? Cautious? Afraid? Insecure? Blessed? Happy? Sad, Confused, Unworthy, etc.  Not counting the Scriputures, I've learned the most about myself from *Observing how people react to me, and by *Listening more and talking less." You have a strong spiritual side that I love. It flows from you like sunlight, leaving relfections of you in these entries. God bless you, my friend. **Barb**

jojolona said...

Life is always testing us.  Just when we think we have come to the point of enlightenment something changes.  When I thought I had the teen thing licked I became an adult.  When I had that down I became a parent.  

judithheartsong said...

You are mining diamonds from your wonderful soul, Derek. Thank you for sharing, love, judi

indigosunmoon said...

I dont think we ever stop learning, or searching for what
makes us who we are.  Your still growing my friend.
Love ya,
Connie

sonensmilinmon said...

Sounds like you are dealing with more growth and that is a positive thing.  This was a good entry and you said a lot of things I've thought of myself but, haven't said out loud.

Monica

andi214 said...

Derek, thank you for being you. everytime i've read your journal you make me want to be a better human being, thanks for the inspiration. keep growing and showing love, peace to you forever. andi

babyshark28 said...

Love this entry.  and I love that quote!   what honest and open moments you are sharing.  thank you. :)