Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Well it’s almost been a month of Mike and I in our place in Riverside.  It’s not that big of a change.  I  would say the biggest change  for me is the way I have to deal with responsibility.  In some ways we are redefining responsibilities and trying to figure out how it  fits in with our life.  At times it feels like Felix and Oscar from the “Odd Couple”.   Lately I’ve been much more relaxed though.  I still want things in their place.   Sometimes it drives me crazy to come home to things all over the place.  I get home and I start picking up, trying to get things back in their place.  But by next day they seem to be back in the same places.  But I’ve noticed lately things have been getting better.  Things are getting back in their places and things seem much less cluttered.  Am I imagining or am I just getting used to it.  I feel like we are achieving a new balance – between taking on responsibility that is rightfully ours, and letting go of responsibility that doesn’t belong to us.  Even though we are successfully meeting these challenges, I’ll just call them challenges, I sometimes can be thrown off by feelings of being controlled or managed.  Where does this feeling come from?  I know growing up my mom and dad tried to manage our every move.  Although they didn’t.  I finally stood up, and said this is not what I want.  I was able to see what they wanted and what I wanted and the differences.  My friends I grew up with and even after I left home, were all about advice, giving it and telling me what I should do, and most of the time expecting me to take it.  With Mike I feel many times he withholds approval on things unless we do things his way.  Not always, but I feel this way sometimes.  Yes I know you will probably read this too Mike.  This isn’t a bad thing.  It’s just something I feel sometimes.  Yes I have my things I know as well, I’ll go ahead and tell you, I drive him crazy with picking my toes.  Not sure why but I come from a toe picking family.  My brother-in law Andy even wrote a song about his toe picking wife.  I just want to make sure he knows how important I think it is for us to continue to make our own decisions, to be our own person, and to be responsible.  Yes I still want your opinion on things.  I value them.  Maybe we can talk about these things sometimes.

2 comments:

sanantoniotexas said...

LOL this entry is actually pretty amusing, and it's how you should really take these things in general, the fact that you leave an open line of communication to Mike is what is key. I know EXACTLY where u are coming from..chris and myself are a lot alike..uhmm he's the Oscar by the way..lol..anyways..he is going to do things that annoy you til the day you die..sure at the time it may just wanna make you scream and whatevers..but deep down ..would you want it any other way?  some couples just compliment each other..after all The Odd Couple with just Felix & Felix would be pretty boring...

PJ

blondepennierae said...

Ahhhh ... the things that drive one crazy, but in the end when you go to bed at night it is that ONE person that  brings you a warm, secure, loving feeling.  Pennie