Tuesday, July 13, 2004

I want my heart back

Well sister Anna decided not to come, guess she's going to wait and come some other time.  I need prayer guys, my neck is really bothering me.  Derek and pain just don't go together.  I know it could be worse and i'm thankful for all my blessings, but I know all the prayers I could get would help.  At times I wonder if the pain is really physical or mental.  It did pop when I was swimming the other day.   I've been thinking lately in the last year and a half I've really been searching for my heart.  Yes I want it back.  I know i never really lost it.  But back to those old wounds.  The wounds we've taken in our lifetime were leveled against us with stunning accuracy.  Have you ever wondered why there's been such an assault?  I think the Enemy fears us.  I think we are dangerous to him bigtime.  If I ever really got my heart back, lived from it with courage I'd be a big problem to him.  I'd do a lot of damage....on the side of good.  I guess we just have to remember how strong and  effective God has been in the history of the world.  We are a stem of his stalk.  Have you got your heart back.  I know it can be done.  But I also know something else, and i try not to let this scare me.  We have to fight for it.  When I was a little boy, the one thing I feared was having to fight, i could talk my way out of just about anything.  I guess our wounds won't heal and our strength won't be restored until  we fight for it.  Doesn't  this make something in you  want to live?  Then I hear in another voice, urging caution, wanting me to dismiss all I'm thinking alltogether.  Derek's being melodramitic as always.  Ok folks, ok Derek are you up for a fight?  I was born with bruises, and I'll go out punching, lol!  :)


barbpinion said...

You are right on the mark, Derek. The enemy does fear us. He doesn't mess with us when we're holding hands with the world. It's when we start missing our 'heart', missing the only ONE who can fill it up. We are no threat to the enemy as we are. But say the Lord's name, start living what love is, start standing up for what is right, start doing the right thing because it IS the right thing...and there he is, ready to pull us down. He doesn't care to hurt us. He hurts us (because hurting us hurts JESUS so much). Don't be cautions when it comes to your heart. Fight for it, and the world will be a better place because of it. You will be a better man because of it. And the LORD will shine through you brighter than the sun.
Hugs, love & prayers. Your friend, Barb

judithheartsong said...

You always have my love and prayers..... but you'll get an extra dose today. I am thinking of you:):):) judi

stacy1tbkl said...

ANything worth having is worth fighting for !!!   It IS hard to get over the wounds of the past, but they do remind us of all the learning we have done in our lives.
I hope your neck feels better soon !

jojolona said...

Derek, I use peppermint oil in my bath to ease pain it really works wonders.  And let me say in my life time I have had to learn to fight, and to walk away.  

judithheartsong said...

thinking of you Derek, hope all is well. judi