Wednesday, April 6, 2005

Judgement

Judgement

This is something I've struggled with for as long as I can remember. I always worrying about how I am perceived by my peers. Many times I've felt judged by different things, lifestyle, the car I drive, my friends, lots of things. But worst of all I think I've taken much of the judgement and judged myself unfairly at times. I think back of childhood, why do I always go back to childhood for my metophors. But I think about something my dad would say. I went to a small Baptist church, and I questioned everything. One thing I really questioned was the fact that my dad said Our chuch is right and all the other ones are wrong. Which I didn't understand. So when I was a teenager, I rebelled and started going to a Methodist chuch sometimes. Funny how I felt something from them, a lesson, not that different, but to my dad they and any other religion was not right. I knew even back then something just didn't jive. Some churches have become divided over styles of worship. One group may be insisting on a traditional service, while another is agitating for a more contemporary format. There are so many, sometimes I wish I'd studied religion in college. I think we can learn or profit from many cultures, many religions. I know myself I'm more comfortable sometimes in one church over another. I've gone with friends to many different types. Sometimes I feel really blessed, by the sermon, even if sometimes there may be something I'm not comfortable with, or maybe I've just never experienced it. But then I think, was it something that God wouldn't like, and my mind is changed. This is something totally separate. I think God may have liked it, it's not really about me is it? This is a hard subject and I'm not sure I'm getting it out the way I want in words. We are entitled to our own preferences, and we must hold firmly to our convictions. But before we voice our fault finding opinions, let's seriously try to understand other viewpoints. I may be filled with the spirit when a song comes on, but it doesn't mean if the person sitting beside me isn't filled with the same spirit, something is wrong with them or they just don't get it. Whatever the style of worship, as we express to God our praise for who He is and all He has done, we lift Him up and encourage others. I think that's what God likes. I come from two very different backgrounds. My father's family which were the churchgoing folks every week, not missing a sermon, I'm glad I saw this side, it taught me many things, and it made me much who I was, but that side also conflicted with the other side, my mom's, which my mom's parents weren't big churchgoers, My Nana never went to church as long as I can remember. But she was a good woman and did things and praised God in her own way through her love of nature and animals, and the people around her, and the encouragement she gave us and all those around. So what am I saying in a nutshell, hmm, lots I guess. I didn't like it when I felt my Nana was judged by man because she chose not to go to church. But it's not up to man to do the judging, I think God knew her heart, just like He knows mine. Many people think I'm doomed, or evil. I've struggled with the bad and the good for a long time. I guess I'm just saying at the heart of worship is worship from the heart, not my saying, I've heard this before, but not sure where. I'll type it in a yahoo search and see if I can find it. I guess I'm just saying be filled with the Spirit, whether it be from listening to music that you love, singing, or just speaking to one another. Guess I'm saying a lot, got to sit with this one a little more.

5 comments:

chevyz71gurl74 said...

Honestly...I know exactly what you are talking about...usually i don't comment on religious issues....for fear of offending someone...but in my opinion...i believe there is only one God...and we all believe in the same God...we all just have our own way of worshiping him...i don't feel as if you have to go to church to be a firm believer...and to worship him ~ i can do that in my own home, riding in my truck listening to christian music in deep thought...etc....just my views....ur entries always get me thinkin..<<grin>>...thats why i keep coming back for more...
Hugss ~Terri~

tdain2003 said...

Derek,
I really love your journal.  I'm so glad we came across each other.  It took me many years to find the church I go to now.  When I walk through the doors, I feel at home.  It doesn't mean the other churches were 'bad' or didn't preach what 'I' wanted.   I can't really explain it.  

There was nothing wrong with the other churches... I guess it started out with the people who welcomed me and then the tears I cried all the way through the service because I could FEEL God there with me and heard Him speak to me through the songs and the sermons.  I don't care where other people I know go to church.  I'm just glad they are being fed.

I don't know where I intended to go with this.  Results of my A.D.D brain : )
I just agree with you, that's all : )

Tracy
p.s. your sister is beautiful... much happiness to her!

onestrangecat said...

only God has the right to judge.  he knows what is in your heart.
different people worship in different ways.  
you are so right with this entry.  thanks for sharing.

kathy

eynl said...

I come from a very tradional catholic background.  One thing I have always taught my children is that you respect other's religion even if it's not like ours.  Those who believe and practice their religion will be better people as all promote love in the world and love towards their neighbor.  We are not here to judge, we are here to live the best that we know how while respecting other's ways even though they may be different than ours.  
I enjoyed this entry Derek.
Carol

gbgoglo said...

This is a wonderful entry, Derek.  I was raised in the Catholic religion.  I studied religions in college.  I have learned thru my spiritual search, that all religions have something good to offer...they all lead to God.  I have watched people from different walks of life practice their faith and religion.  I have seen how people who are isolated such as the Indians, and natives from South America, Mexico, etc.  who don't have bible knowledge, they revere the God of all or Nature.  I don't feel there is any right or wrong religion - to me there is just GOD and JESUS and the HOLY SPIRIT or the Holy Trinity.  Even atheists have their own religion - that of Good or Evil or "do unto others."  Take care of you and regards to M.  hugs, gloria