Sunday, May 2, 2004

Sleepy Sunday

Well, I'm hopeful that I may have found something, only 1 block from the beach, it's smaller than my other place, it's a one bedroom, 1 bath, dining room, and office, everything is new, new kitchen, new tiled floors.  I really liked the way it felt inside, I'm putting a deposit down this week on it.  I'm hoping this is it.  But I won't get my hopes up too much.  Today has been kind of dreary, rained most of the day.  My back and neck was really sore.  I was thinking today about relationships, the one's I have with friends, the one's with my family.  I don't have a great deal of friends, I have just a few.  Not that I live in fear, but sometimes it's hard getting past some hurts.  Then I started thinking about God's relationship with us, and with the world.  That's a relationship.  As with every relationship, there's a certain amount of unpredictabilty.  and the ever present liklihood that you'll get hurt.  The ultimate risk anyone ever takes is to love.  One of my favorite writers.  C.S. Lewis says, "Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possible broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal."  God does give it, doesn't He?  Again, and again, and again.  I don't think much on all the hurt He must feel from all that's going on in the world today.  God's willingness to risk is just astounding-far beyond what any of us would do were we in His position.  Do we love as God does-openly enough to be hurt?   This is a hard one for me too.  I ask it, but many times I know in the past when it started getting scary or I was unsure, I ran, I hurt.  I did things that I really didn't want to do.  Guess nothing in life is free of hurt.  But I want to love that way.  I can't honestly say I'm there yet, but I want to be. 


barbpinion said...

God places His love on the chopping block a million times a day, probably more than that. I'm sure that one day you'll stop running and be able to love like you want too. Fact is..if it's what you desire, God will help you reach that goal. It is His will for us to love one another that much. I think a lot on how God must feel watching us destroy one another and the beautiful world he created for us. STill- He keeps on loving us, guiding us, forgiving us, covering us with His grace. He is a most awesome GOD. I really like your  entries. Praying for you. Please remember me & my family in prayer too. Thanks & God bless you. **Barb**

gbgoglo said...

I wrote about love and pain in my entry for today.  C. S. Lewis is also one of my fav. writers.  I hope you get the apartment.  Love and blessings.  I like your writings.  

aiibrat said...

You sound like someone that is on a brink of discovery.  And to contemplate love means you DO have a lot of love to share. (((hugs)))