Thursday, May 6, 2004
Well I sold the futon today, trying to get some extra money for the move, that thing was heavy. My cousin Vicki bought it and she brought Aunt Edwina, my grandma's twin sisters daughter. It was so funny when she walked in my heart just jumped, she looks so much like my Mema. I sure do miss her. Maybe that's why I always cook spaghetti on Friday nights. I have a funny story to tell, after Mema died, I felt so lost, I stayed really busy at her funeral, making the printed rememberances of her, I even got up and spoke at the funeral, but I just didn't feel like I could say goodbye to her. The day after the funeral we all were at her house and this little bird kept pecking at the window outside. No one really paid attention to it, I mentioned it but no one was really paying attention. That night Mema said to me in a dream, I was that little bird, I was trying to get your attention so I could see all of you. But noone would open the window. I awoke and a smile came to my face. I still felt a little lost. The same day I sat in my house sad and just lost. When a bird flew down my chimney into my house. It was strange. This little bird flying around my house. Again I thought of Mema. I opened my door so it could fly out, but it wouldn't leave. It just kept flying around. So I finally walked out of the room, hoping it would fly out and not be hurt. When I came back in the room it was gone. And all the emotions came out, I cried for a long time. I finally went and laid down. I was almost asleep, when I looked up on my dresser and there was the bird just looking at me. I got up and went to the bird, the bird wasn't scared of me one bit, it let me put my hands around it, I walked to the front door and let it fly away, saying goodbye. I said goodbye Mema. It was very surreal and wasn't a dream. I got to say goodbye after all.