When I was a little boy of maybe 4 all the kids in the neighborhood would climb up on this building and jump from the top onto a trampoline.  They all had so much courage and it looked so fun.  But when I climbed up and looked down, it didn't look so fun.  My dad who didn't like the fact that I was scared, climbed up on the building and decided he would throw me off the building.  It was quite terrifying, it must have been it's one of my first memories, I guess this was my first recollection of having a problem of letting go.  When I did let go I was falling and I didn't land on the trampoline but the springs.  Not too fun!  Seems I've had problems letting go ever since.  I don't always live in the past, but I sure visit there often.  I'm still trying to move forward, but sometimes it's easy for me to get caught up in the past.  I try not to hang onto much of the pain, but I am a survivor, and sometimes I do have to go back to some things.  Still healing I guess.  They are not all painful, many of my visits to the past are happy thoughts too, I visit them more anyway.  I was reading Barb's entry today. http://beta.journals.aol.com/barbpinion/BOTHSIDESOFTHECOIN/  It's all about choices. Well here I am 36 years old.  and I'm finally getting ready to jump off that building I was so scared of.  Ready..... Get Set.......JUMP!