Today I feel my heart beating, that is a good thing, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed with so many feelings. I keep my mind full and I read many different journals, and keep as much in, but how does it come out afterwards. Lately I’ve been hearing how hard life is, and sometimes those words, even if I don’t say it outloud, I may be thinking it. Well all I really know is it just is. If I don’t say it outload, I might as well write about it. Life is a bumpy road. Not sure if any of you have ever read any of Charles Williams, but he wrote “The world is painful in any case; but it is quite unbearable if anybody gives us the idea that we are meant to be liking it. I think about my path, the one I’ve taken, the one I’ve been lead on since I was born. Sometimes I feel fear because of what I’m perceiving as my good, which seems to cause me to believe I’ve missed a turn somewhere and taken the wrong dirt road, that sure is bumpy. I can only go by what I was taught, if I’m on the right track, then I will have a life free of trouble. I take that back, I never was taught that, life has always been a little hard. I guess I mean I need to quit thinking that because life is hard sometimes, that I’m doing something wrong. All I know is I always have this feeling inside that tells me everything will be ok. That feeling or voice, whatever you want to call it, helps me survive. My therapist Mrs. Frazier and I discussed once that when we come to the end of our dark places, we will understand that every circumstance has been allowed for our ultimate good. We were born with a name, with a path, I hope I have not strayed to far from the path. I ask for guidance and pray that I’m still on the path that I was to be on all along. Getting this out makes me feel lots of things. Somewhat happy, somewhat sad, somewhat scared. There is a prayer, I can’t remember it, but it goes something like if there are dark places that are a lot to be good, please lord help and teach me to endure, the sorrow, pain, or solitude that makes the spirit pure. I wish I could remember where that came from or how close it is to what the real words were. I found it, I did a yahoo search and found it, I was close to what the quote was, but it was made by Irons.