Friday, September 16, 2005
Anger in my sleep
Love suffers long and is kind. 1 Corinthians 13:4 I opened Mike's bible this morning, after reading an email from him. And this is the scripture I found, open, close my eyes, then point, my best way to find the answers. So I am using this verse to help me cope with frustrations I find myself in. Maybe I should use this anytime anger wells up within me. Lately I've been showing anger in my sleep of all places, yesterday was hard for me, I was in a lot of back pain. I went to bed, and although I was very groggy, I remember the words, move over or turn over. Which I couldn't, my back was hurting. So in my sleep, I let the anger out, the anger of being woke up, the anger of being in pain. I honestly don't remember what I said back, I think I said why don't you turn over, and he said please, and I said "No". So I do remember this scenerio some. After that he got up and went to the couch after writing me an email of how mean I was, and that he still loves me. We're at that over a year stage, and I guess things are not as easy as in the beginning. I'm not writing poetry to him all the time, and maybe not writing about him in my blog as much but he's still very much a part of my everyday life. So all I can say Mike is yes, I was angry in my sleep, and I said some things in harsh tones. So I ask you to think of this verse that I opened up too and think about it. I'm also very sorry for anything I said in my groggy angry state. I think all day long, wish I could think when I am sleeping, I think it's the only time I give my head a rest. Fill our hearts with goodness and kindness, and care towards each other. Again I'm sorry, next time just pinch me, but not too hard.