I believe

It's that time of month again, my favorite artist's , Judith Heartsong hosts her artsy essay of the month for anyone willing to participate.  She posts a subject and gives us a chance to get involved and have a chance for one of her beautiful creations.  I was really excited about this one and had so many ideas.  I've actually written some entries with this title.  Here's the link check it out

http://journals.aol.com/judithheartsong/newbeginning/entries/1527

 

I believe.... my mother get's more beautiful with each waking day.

I’ve been thinking about what my mom wrote in her journal last night.  http://journals.aol.com/alicarobo/NanasGarden/

She turning sixty next month.  Big milestone I’m sure.   Just reading what she wrote made me think of things I’ve never thought of, about wanting to see us grow up, and now wanting to see her grandchildren grow up and wondering if her mother did the same thing.  What is it they call life’s older year’s; the “sunset years.”  O.K. J-land help me, and my mom.  Are they rosy?  Help me make Nana’s garden rosy. 

I think of my life now, the past, the present, the future.  How sometimes life has become clouded with despair and sadness and other times such great joy.  So to me I think we should try our best early in life to get the right focus.  Once I never thought about the people that crossed my path, I didn’t think about how I influenced them or treated them.  I’m not saying I was terrible, I was just unaware of my surroundings.  So the thought never even crossed my mind.  I feel more responsibility now.  What kind of older man will I be, I’m 37, what will I be like when I’m 57, if given the chance to reach 57.  I think the answer depends very much on what kind of person I am now.

I love watching and talking to the elderly.   I always have even since I was little, so what have I observed.  I’ve visited many nursing homes.  The air is different sometimes from room to room.  There are contented elderly people, and there are not so contented ones.  Is it our focus more than our feelings that determines the sort of people we are.  My mema every time she got up she would say “Oh, me, me, me”!  But she got up and she cooked all the time.    My nana never complained any that I can remember.  If she hurt or had pains, I never heard her.  Although I know she suffered a stroke and had to learn to do everything over, even talk.   

At the reunion my aunt Edna smiled big, she looked so proud reminding me of times my Pepa smiled like that when we came to his grandfather's reunion.  Maybe he was looking down and smiling.  Now I think of my Papa, he wasn’t a complainer either, he worked hard every day that he could.  He suffered from back pain and joints,the only thing I remember him saying once was “Old age aint for weenies”.  I’m only 37.  I hope I can smile and have the same attitude he had. 

Now I think of my mom, she’s not old to me, she never will be.  I can tell by her entry she may not be looking forward to turning sixty, but then again I think she’s so thankful for turning sixty.  My mom’s groans which are few give way to praise for God’s goodness.  She focuses on gratitude and I think that started early in her life.   I remember a cartoon from “Family Circus”  The clouds are parting, and the little boy says to his mom, the sun is shining through and I can see a little bit of Heaven. 

Ok J-land what do you think, what is your focus today, regardless of your feelings?  Is it of gratitude.  This is why I believe my mom grows more sweet and more beautiful each waking day.