Reflecting

Well this is kind of strange, I've been writing in journals since I was 12.   My mom gave me a journal when I was in the 6th grade on my birthday.  The card said "Write down your feelings, it's important to express your feelings somehow and let them be known."  I've been doing that ever since.  I have to date about 15 journals.  This is the first time I've actually written in a journal for others to read.    Seems I always wrote like it was going to be a book one day.  "The Diary of Anne Frank" was my favorite book back in those days.  I really felt I needed to express myself.    I've written all these years to leave something of myself, so I guess I chose to do the same now.  I'm also writing this to learn about myself so I can help in trying to understand others.  I've always thought of myself as a happy person.  Just look at that smile.  I'm 36.  I'm also gay.  That means happy right.  Some may think diffrent.  I think I've had a smile on my face most of my life.  I've always hoped there was good for me in the future.  Althought things do get tough at times.  I'm still trying hard to find happiness in myself, but I guess there's nowhere else we can find it.  Get ready for a celebration, a celebration of my exhistance.